I had to give this question some thought but, by hindsight, the worst actual paid employment I ever had was probably at the coffee bars. I had intended to break into show business - Ripper's Rowdies, as I recall. (Actually, the way I envisioned the group was so derivative that I should probably have called it Ripper's Rip-offs.)

It makes me feel old even to think of it. The periods when we were the “live music” weren’t so bad, especially during performances. The problems came when another group was booked or when there simply wasn’t the money to pay us properly that week. When I recall it now whatever success we had is completely over-shadowed by the remembered smell of cigarette smoke mingled with the taste of somewhat some stale hamburger - and the abysmal coffee.

We thought of tea as being a drink for parents, coffee seemed to fit the scene. I remember one coffee bar that served a cappuccino that tasted much as burning rubber smells. I suppose teenagers can stomach almost anything, but I have never really liked coffee since. It would be nice to have fond memories of groupies, at least, but my contribution to the pop scene was never big enough for that.

I suppose Watcher is really my default setting, inherited like a blood group or a minor deformity. Even when I rebelled I helped friends to call a demon rather than taking LSD or marrying someone exotic.

Once I returned to the fold things were different, of course. A Watcher has to do a number of unpleasant jobs. Drugging Buffy prior to the Cruicimentum? I remember an odd feeling of triumph once, in the early stages, before I realised how deadly serious things had become. I think I only truly felt the impact of what I was doing when I realised there was a risk that she might fail. I hadn’t even considered that until Kraychec was loose. Buffy was undoubtedly the best slayer for decades. Afterwards, it was easier to blame the Council than to consider … there is really no way to come to terms with some aspects of a Watcher’s job.

I made up for it, in the end, during the Glory days. What I did was not, strictly speaking, my job – but there are some things that one should not, and must not ask one’s Slayer to do. We used everything that we could mobilise against Glory, but I perceived it as my job, and my duty, to deal with Ben.

I am not sure if I ever been quite the same man since.

Muse, Rupert Giles.
Fandom, BTVS
Words, 431

I haven't got a cat; it would be difficult to keep pets, as things are and I have rarely had much contact with cats. I was not reared with the concept of house-pets at all, although I walked the hound pups. There were barn-cats at nearby farms and I have the impression that their personalities varied considerably, perhaps because they were often almost feral, subsisting largely on rodents.

(Some of the farm-cats actually caught young rabbits and there were allegations that they took pheasant-chicks; I am sure that they would have done, given the opportunity. However, as the farmer acidly pointed out, the cat colony did an excellent job of keeping down vermin and if the chicks were kept so insecurely that a cat could predate on them then certainly foxes, stoats and weasels would be taking far more. From the viewpoint of small game there were some dangerous predators in the area.

That may have explained the farm cats' behaviour. I have been told that jungle cats often appear almost cowardly. Predators need to avoid injury, of course, and lions in buffalo country [or cats in a rat-infested barn] do need to be very aware of adversaries’ potential to do damage. Some of the prey would appear to be more dangerous than the predator.)

The farm-cats were cautious; they were curious, and investigated anything new that they came into contact with, but that exploration was allied with extreme wariness in the adult cats. Some of them might actually have made good Watchers!

Joking apart, the combination of curiosity and caution – in the correct balance – is essential for my own role and possibly that has influenced my perception of those cats. (One becomes very aware of such things when involved in training young people.)

I suspect that the combination of curiosity and hyper-alert wariness is also a survival factor for the felines and the adage should really read, “Curiosity kills some inexperienced kittens – but only the percentage who lack compensatory characteristics.” However, that does rather lack the succinct conciseness of the original.

Muse, Rupert Giles.
Fandom, BTVS
Words, 257

I have noticed that, as people grow older, they often develop a great appreciation for warmth - although not, I suppose, to the extent of appreciating the type of central heating available in the traditional Christian Hell.

In point of fact, there are many traditional Hells. The Nordic Hell was a frozen wasteland, as I suppose one would expect. Hell dimensions appear to abound and those often seem to tend toward extremes of climate, whether or not this is supposed to be part of the torment.

I have heard far fewer discussions of the climate of Heaven or the various heavenly realms. (I used to joke that saying, “What a beautiful day” for the billionth time in a month would devalue it as small talk.) The really strange thing is that, if the climate of Heaven is mentioned, people retort that it is a realm of the spirit, that bodily things are of no concern and the weather wouldn’t matter.

So, Hellfire would be a torment in an abode for souls, but the smell of the earth after rain would be an … irrelevance. I find that difficult to believe.

As for the company – I hope that my own family went to heaven (although I would prefer to spend my afterlife at a comfortable distance from some of them.) Possibly Jenny would be there, possibly John or Elizabeth… Buffy appears to have gone there, at one point...

If I do find myself in Hell I am quite sure I would know many of the inhabitants, some might be quite eager to see me again, although not necessarily for reasons that I would … appreciate.

( Cut for speculation )
Even so, I think I would prefer the company in Heaven. However, despite the jocular tone the subject is considerably more complex than I expected when I began to write. I rather regret having chosen it.

Muse; Rupert Giles.
Fandom, BTVS
Words; 400

006 How have you beaten the odds?

I suppose that I have beaten the odds, and in the most basic sense. I have seen so many dead.

It is expected that the active Watcher is likely to outlive his Slayer. We are educated to that effect. It does not always happen, but one usually outlives the other. The war that we wage is deadly dangerous, after all.

Buffy had outlived her first Watcher when she was put in my charge but the odds are that the Watcher will outlive his Slayer. We are usually withdrawn from field work, after that, although not all Watchers find the experience so traumatic that they find some way to withdraw from the cutting edge of operations.

Buffy had died twice at the point when I left Sunnydale. She was saved by friends of her own age on both occasions. My decision was not a form of desertion. She had a fully functional support system and I was needed elsewhere. I suppose we both “beat the odds” – but twice is enough. She is no longer the Slayer. I am no longer …

Oh for the good lord’s sake! The Watchers’ Council died! Death upon death. My contemporaries - even those whom I thought would be my successors – all of them!

I am not old. Not really old. Not by the standards of the outside world, where my life would be the stuff of stories if it was generally known. I remember that the phrase, “We did not evolve to outlive our children” was much in my mind, earlier. For me, it is almost as if I have outlived even my own generation.

I suppose I have beaten the odds there, too, in a way. For a man of my age and class, statistically, I should probably be a grand parent, worrying about the mortgage, about “negative equity” and investments; I might even be concerned about garden pests or a car – or, if my worldview had remained reasonably wide (as I believe it would have done) I might have been worried about global warming and perhaps biofuels.

I wonder what I could have done about those problems? I wonder if I would have been lonely?

Muse; Rupert Giles.
Fandom; BTVS
Words, 339

My laptop celebrated Christmas Day by losing most of its functions (including Internet access, for asome time.) It will be sent away to be repaired (or euthanised) under extended guarentee on Jan 2nd, and I will be back as soon as I can.

It hasn't worked properly for most of this year but the alternative would be Vista so I would seem to be caught between a rock and an extraordinarily hard place.</i>

005 "What's a daily activity you must do that's not one of your favorite activities?" ( The answer may be obvious )

Muse; Rupert Giles,
Fandom, BTVS
Words 432

I have had rather too heavy a workload and a number of problems with a computer that appeared to be possessed, recently. It is not really feasible to use the standard methods of exorcism on a laptop. Holy water has a deleterious effect on both the keyboard and what one might call the internal organs. (I discovered this empirically in my first year on-line. I was not, I hasten to add, trying to test for demonic presences in the motherboard at the time. I simply threw the liquid at a vampire and missed.)

In any case, as far as I can ascertain this machine did not, exactly, suffer demonic infestation. It simply downloaded an automatic update while unattended and then developed some kind of cyber-indigestion. It has kept me off-line for some time and, when I first logged in, I was surprised to find that I now seem to have an Undead Journal with a rather lurid colour-scheme. I rather hope that is simply a gesture for Halloween. The red on black lettering is hurting my eyes.

In theory, very little of a supernatural nature is supposed to happen during Halloween. In practice, that may not be the case. Certainly it was not always the case in Sunnydale. There was the fear-demon, Ethan Rayne’s costumes, the year when Dawn was 15… Didn’t she say that she was staying overnight with her friend Janice and then go to the cemetery with a vampire? I don’t think it ever occurred to me before but I wonder if she intended to spend the night with him? I don’t think that occurred to Buffy, either.

That, of course, happened immediately before Dawn almost became the bride of that musical demon. ( 001.  ),

I really think that I am too tired to consider the matter further, at the moment. It is almost midnight.

Muse; Rupert Giles.
Fandom; BTVS
Words 750

Hmmm. It seems that this is journal entry 222.

It seems strange that so many of the occultly significant redoubled numbers have come up in the last 8 days.

Your result for The Hard like a Rock Intelligence Test...

Ace Decetive

You got 88%

Take The Hard like a Rock Intelligence Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The How many Animals Can You Name? Test...

Monkey Brain

Take The How many Animals Can You Name? Test at HelloQuizzy

According to the Great Shaman of the Bellesticon it is known that that Bel-Shamharoth will rise at the eighth hour of the eighth day of the eighth year of the eighth century, after the casting down of the kraken at the dawn of the new millennium.

Prophecies about what will happen once the Sender of Eight has risen tend to be detailed, graphic and carved into the walls of caves by shaman who clearly had an ample supply of red ochre and an unhealthy interest in depicting viscera.

Werewolves are expected to be particularly affected, although the prophecies are insufficiently specific about whether that will take affect only after the moon has been cast into the depths of the great volcano, releasing Hell into the realms of Earth.

The prophecies become seriously contradictory when the material starts to cover the First Evil’s reaction to all this. I really cannot quite see how a non-corporeal being could possibly first marry the Sender of Eight and then undergo quite such an acrimonious divorce.

It seems obvious that “marriage” is a metaphor for a purely symbolic union between the premier evils of the time; however, the reasons for the divorce are detailed in the Necrotellicommen and, frankly, these do appear to cast some surprising sidelights on the capabilities of both the beings concerned. (I do feel that a case exists for retranslating the whole of Appendix Two and, possibly, reclassifying it. Syranous the Cynic of Galladifry claimed that his translation of this material is absolutely reliable. On the other hand, Thracydomus asserted that Galladifry is best known for the national cuisine of magic mushrooms.)

There is a further factor. I feel that it is appropriate to take into account that there is considerable controversy over whether the prophecy does mean “The Kraken” (a giant squid with far-reaching tentacles) or whether this was a metaphor for the Internet. In point of fact, The Millennium Bug signally failed to destroy the Internet as predicted in the year 2000, the dawn of the most recent new millennium.

I would therefore postulate that nobody has the faintest idea whether significant events are due to start from 8a.m. on 08.08.08 or whether we will be spared for a further thousand years or two.

In other words, I rather doubt whether it is worth alerting Buffy about this one.

Muse; Rupert Giles,
Fandom, BTVS
Words, 333

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." - Mae West

_______________________________________________

It is, of course, fairly easy to perceive that Mae West was not a Watcher.

In point of fact, one of the duties of a field Watcher is to make sure that the evils are as known and familiar as possible. The problem with evils that one has not experienced before is that they may do the unexpected. There can also be problems in abolishing an evil – or at least, with whatever replaces the evil in question.

( An historical study ),

Sharaleen’s Watcher was commended on his behaviour throughout and suffered so little trauma that he actually continued in active service for a further twelve years.

( Personal marginalia, to be deleted. )


I should, perhaps, edit the above and add some of it to the weight of the evidence, when I have time.

( Implications for policy. )

Muse; Rupert Giles,
Fandom, BTVS
words, 1,300

We did not evolve to outlive our children. There is no real mechanism for surviving that..

Where on earth does that quote come from? It seems to be running through my brain and I really cannot imagine why.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want--good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you